Brothers
by OneDozenSticks
Summary: Regulus has never felt real love from anyone. His own family doesn't truly love him. Starts with a conversation he has with Sirius. Oneshot.


**A/N Okay, the title sucks as usual. But please don't judge it by just the title! (This is just an update, I only changed the lyrics at the end, Nothing else.) Anyways, shutting up now, enjoy!**

**Title: Brothers  
Author: DogStar'n'LionHeart  
Words: 1520  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling, so don't sue me.**

* * *

I look at him blandly. He twirls his wand in his fingers absentmindedly, eyes half lidded and dark. There is something strange about him. He looks to the window, to the leaden rain pounding on the windowsill. I follow his eyes, and we are quiet. For a second, I think I hear him sigh. Then he looks back to me, looking morbid.

"Just a few more days, Reg." I turn to him, a question in my eyes. "A few more days and I can go to heaven." For a fleeting, horrifying moment I think he is pondering suicide. But then I realize, Hogwarts is just around the corner.

"Home is not really that bad, is it?" I ask. Lighting tears through the room and he shoots me a death glare. I silence myself and sit uncomfortably on the edge of the bed. He watches me with a pout.

"You can't honestly think home is better than school?" he asks. I pause, chewing the answer in my mouth before letting it out.

"Perhaps they're the same…"

He lets out a large laugh. "You must be kidding?" He asks with a smirk. Thunder grumbles at the window.

I turn away from him, feeling embarrassment on my cheeks. "I don't have anyone there." I murmur, "And not here either…"

The charming smirk vanishes to be replaced by the Black mask. A mask we all knew well. It was put on when one didn't know what to feel. It was unemotion, and it was horrifying on his face. I pull my legs up and hug them, pressing my eyes against my knees, wondering how it feels to have someone love you. Sirius knows…

I wrap my hands around my ankles, clenching my teeth hard to fight the burning in my eyes. I know without having to look that Sirius has dropped his mask. I know, I know even though everyone thinks I don't that I am not loved. Not by my family. They don't love me, I know. They pretend to only to spite Sirius. I know because I never felt it, the warmth in the heart they say you feel. I have never had it, the smiling face one has when they are with someone who loves them. I have seen Sirius with that smile.

"Reg…" I hear Sirius murmur, and awkwardness hangs in the room. I swallow the lump in my throat with difficulty, and raise my head. I can't see well, the room is dark and my hair is in my eyes. I manage a quick glance at Sirius, who is looking at me like I have gone mad.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He asks. I run a pale hand through my hair, feeling my heart calm slowly with the pounding of the rain. Finally I sigh.

Looking down I say softly, "Sirius…do you hate me?" I see astonishment on his face when I look back up. Of course he has said it before. He has bitingly called me the Little King and told me he hated me. I know why he has said it, because I am treated like one here, at this hateful home, I am treated like a little king and he nothing but a servant boy. And so he has been mad at me and told me such things. And I have believed that he hates me.

But now I must know. My sanity hangs on his answer. I do not have friends, I do not have lovers, I have only my family. And I know they do not love me, they do not even like me. None of them. But Sirius is my brother, the only person I have ever felt comfortable with, if even for only a few seconds. I think I have felt that he loves me, and I wonder if he knows how I feel, how I pain. I wonder if he cares for me as a brother should.

But he isn't answering. He is quiet and still, and I look at him, imploring an answer. But he isn't looking at me, he is looking down, his hair shading his face. And finally:

"You're my brother."

I do not feel happiness at this, or shock, or remorse. I feel anger. It means nothing, and at the same time…I do not know what he is trying to tell me, but he looks so horribly sad as he says it I say nothing. He pushes himself up from the bed, and his eyes mirroring the storm he grabs something off the bedside table and pockets his wand. In an instant he is slipping out of the room, his heavy robe and crimson scarf around him. I run after him as he takes to the stairs, reaching the bottom so quickly I wonder if he apparated. I reach the floor, rushing up to him as he throws open the door, almost beckoning the storm in.

Rain splatters the wood floor and I slip on it, having to grab onto his arm for support. "Sirius! Where are you going, what are you doing! You can't leave again, I have covered for you so many times!" He looks at me, undisturbed by my weight on his arm and my yells in his ear. Lighting flashes across his features and he asks:

"Want to come?" I look at him, surprise soaking my face. I know about his motorcycle. I know he is taking it to ride, he has done so before. But never has he asked me to come. I let go of him, straightening up and staring at him in disbelief. A warmness enters my heart, and I can't really bring myself to explain the happiness rising in my chest.

And he pretends not to register my reaction, instead he says: "Well, are you coming?" forever keeping up his cool, uncaring act. And for some reason, even though I had fantasized about riding on that motorcycle, and even though I'd longed for my brother to ask me that, I found the word 'no' in my throat. I couldn't explain it, I didn't know why. Why would I say no when this is what I had wanted for so long? To be included…cared for…to be loved…

And still he is waiting there, for once not the impatient person I knew. I want to say yes. Oh so badly! But suddenly there is a burn on my arm, and I have to bite my tongue to keep from grabbing it. I am being called…

I could refuse to go. I am not so important that I would be missed. But as it shoots pain through my arm, I realize. It is reminding me. Reminding me of who I am and what I am. I look at him sadly, and I know my bluegrey eyes look dead.

"No." I see slight surprise register on his face, but he quickly masks it with a shrug. I watch as he jumps over the small steps at the threshold and embraces the rain with a laugh. He pulls the invisibility charm from his motorbike and jumps on. He looks so happy, for a second I honestly, truly hate him. Then he looks back to me, and through the earsplitting thunder I hear his words: "You sure?"

I wince, remembering something Sirius had told me when we were much younger. _Don't _ever _live with regrets, Reg._ He was very young at the time, and so was I. I can't remember why he even told me it, and I hadn't understood him then. But thinking back on it, that one statement had all the wisdom of a thousand ages in it, and I hated it. But it was true, and it was right. I figure it won't hurt to listen to my brother for once in my life.

Suddenly I'm stumbling down the stairs, and I almost slip on the wet ground outside but manage to keep my balance. _It can't hurt. No, it can't hurt to feel free this one time. _I think desperately. Sirius is laughing at me and my clumsiness, telling me to hurry up and hop on. I rush into the wind, feeling happier than I ever have before. Rain blinds me and I don't really care. I get onto the motorcycle with difficulty, I've never ridden anything but a broom. But Sirius waits for me, for once.

Finally I'm on comfortably, my bare feet finding a footing, and I nod to Sirius who chuckles at me again. "You are such a loser." He says though I can barely hear him. And we're off, somehow unconcerned about being two guys on the same motorcycle. And for some reason I feel as if I have left myself at the Black doorstep, and it is there waiting for my return. I resolve to forget it about it until the time comes that I do return.

I smile at the sky, happiness fluttering in my chest.

_They will see us waving from such great heights  
"Come down now," they'll say  
But everything looks perfect from far away,  
"Come down now," but we'll stay...  
_  
**A/N Hmmm…well that was weird. After I wrote it and was rereading it I couldn't help but feel I was writing some cheesy soap. I know it is unlikely that Sirius would be so kind to his brother, but what the heck. Anyways, for once I decided to give a happy ending. I know my other stories don't have a sad ending per se, but things don't exactly get better either. In this one, however, I felt Regulus deserved to feel love and happiness. In case you are wondering, this was not meant to be Sirius/Regulus or anything, because at some parts I think it sounded like that, but I want to assure you it isn't.**

**Words at the end are from Such Great Heights by Postal Service**

**Please review, because I do like constructive criticism and praise (who doesn't?). And if you flame me, well go ahead and get it out of your system.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**DogStar'n'LionHeart**


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